RUBI by Kandy Pens

by Jennifer F. Knight with cartoonery by Roldo


FREEDOM is the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint and DISCRETION is the freedom to decide what should be done in a particular situation.


When products like RUBI first hit the United States medical market they were not necessarily promoted as an opportunity to practice freedom and lawful discretion; but were promoted instead as a classy way to avoid the stigma associated with hippies and joints and stoners and bong rips - a less demeaning alternative to smoking pot, if you will, endorsed for pay by phony celebrity socialites like Cheryl Shuman of Beverly Hills. And I considered myself your average (almost every day) rocky mountain stoner, a mostly decent and sometimes hardworking Colorado-based pothead with no good reason at all to feel any sort of shame about my own private [adult] use of cannabis. So in my estimation, vape pens were the fake tits and fiberglass fingernails of the weed world and I wasn't exactly impressed.


I had zero interest in the vaping of marijuana concentrates.


Until, in a particular situation, I decided to purchase a red RUBI vape pen ($60 refillable 800mg distillate cartridge from Starbuds which included the battery, minus a medical discount, plus the tax and a tip for my budtenders). 


That first cartridge lasted only three days, because I used it too often. It was powerful stuff and I wanted to know more. Thus began my investigation…


PHASE TWO INTERVIEWS COMING SOON

[insert phase two - Molecular Infusions, Rocky Mountain Remedies, Catalyst] 


RUBI, I think, is an excellent tool for ingesting concentrates when nobody else needs to know what lawful substance you're putting into your physiological system as a sovereign human being. I mean, why is it anyone’s business?


We don’t seem to judge people too harshly for eating their daily dose of Xanax, because we're generally glad when they do - unless they’re operating heavy machinery, or underage, or stupid. So don't be stupid. And I suppose that's the wisdom here - freedom, discretion, and independent [adult] research. In closing, please remember my opinion is worth exactly what you paid for it and my RUBI is worth more than what I paid, even though I'm probably hooked on marijuana-infused products now as a result.


But seriously folks, I should definitely slow down - powerful stuff.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Jennifer Knight, for reasons unknown, neglected to schedule phone interviews with representatives of

Catalyst, Kandy Pens, Rocky Mountain Remedies, & Molecular Infusions.


In other words, what you see is what you get. 

We, the anonymous editors of Crazy Stoner Magazine, consider this a profound failure.